Death, Misfortune, And The Abageljaku
by Chara The Fallen Child
Summary: Nico decides to bring along some of the kiddos in games he's played for a pretty road trip in the mountains! Well, with his luck, that's not gonna go so well, will it? Especially when the mountain turns out to be haunted by a bagel demon! Hilarity, death, and bagel withdrawal ensues. Strap yourselves in kiddos, it's gonna be a very odd ride.
1. All Aboard the SS LP I Mean Bus

Author's note thing: _hello everybody! i'm oliver, twitch users billy_hope_forrealjustice, chara_thefallenchild, and hiyokosaion_jiggywithit. i forget my password a lot, okay?_

 _anyway, iv been a fan of nicob for quite a while, probably not as long as some of you but still a while. i love this fandom a lot, and its such a loving community. if not a bit bananas._

 _i started this fic the stream nico played outlast, and it's since been updated to include characters in undertale, dr:ae, etc. i havent watched every lp nico's done, so my best apologies if characters get left out._

 _please enjoy my garbage 3_

\- Chapter 1- All Aboard The SS LP I Mean Bus -

Nico sighed and leaned back in his driver's seat, hugging his trusty companion Bagels (is it Bagel or Bagels? Do we even know?) The Penguin close to shield its small penguin ears from the very loud commotion going on around it. _This wasn't supposed to happen..._ , the man thought sadly, tugging at the collar of his blue polo with a frown.

Okay, maybe he's not wearing a blue polo at this stream. ('Stream' being wishful thinking, haha) In every stream, Nico seems to wear a blue polo. I'm assuming he is right now, I can't read into the future. I wish I could, though! Anyway, back to the story!

Nico had decided to round up the cast of colorful characters in games he's played and bring them on a lovely road trip through the mountains! (At the mention of mountains, Miles Upshur started crying.) He tried to keep every series apart to avoid fighting, but it hadn't gone too well. Togami seemed to spot a large quantity of rich people with his trusty money radar, and started a Money-Off between himself, Snake, Komaeda, Fat Togami, Redd White, Grossberg, Edgeworth, and Dr. Money. It was very intense, and ended with Dr. Money winning.

That seemed to prompt everybody else into both negative and positive interaction.

The author's exposition, I mean, Nico's thought process, was cut off by a loud and disgusting crunch, followed by laughter from Clover, Saionji, and Seiko. Nico turned his head to see that Clover had wandered into the Presentable Liberty part of the bus, and brutally crushed The Prisoner's pet spider, Billy.

Nico frowned, standing up from his seat to stomp over after calling over Junpei to drive for him. "Clover! Do not do that to Billy!" he scolded, and nearly everybody minus Miles in the Outlast corner turned their head at the mention of the name NicoB called them by. Billy Hope gasped, looking around frantically. "I-i-is somebody here?! A-are they gonna hurt me?" the teenager cried, clinging to his adopted father's wheelchair.

"Not you guys." Nico clarified, and the former Walrider host seemed to calm down drastically. "The Prisoner's pet bug." Nico continued, gesturing to the squashed spider that its dark-skinned owner was in shock over, his companions attempting to help him recover from the grief and trauma.

After a light scolding (although Salvadore and Charlotte insisted that the 999 character deserved a much worse punishment), Nico returned to the driver's seat. It had been a long day, and he just wanted to go up into the mountains and do some sightseeing with his favorite characters and have a nice bagel-and-turkey-sandwich ((with caviar, courtesy of that crazy-ass lunchlady from Ace Attorney. Also a side of cake, spaghetti, and bananas. It's a fucking gourmet feast!)) picnic and then maybe have a giant-ass platonic orgy. But that wasn't going to happen, not on the author's watch.

In no less than five minutes of the last incident, something happened again, and Nico was beginning to question if this road trip was actually a good idea. Of course it's not, who the fuck lets Mr. Smiley, Ibuki Mioda, Richard Trager, Maya Fey, Clover Field, Papyrus, and Seiko Shinohara within 200 feet of each other?

In an attempt to keep the younger characters from seeing things they really shouldn't, Fat Togami had asked everybody for their ages, and when the S.S. 'We're Totally Teenagers/Adults', a.k.a Yuka, Billy Hope, Fujisaki, Saionji, and Clover, answered truthfully, everything was thrown into hell.

"Please prove your age with legal identification!" Ishimaru butt in, clearly not believing that the ages were respectively, 14, 18, 16, 24, and 18. Yes, Billy and Clover are the same age. Even I don't believe it. "We can trust them!" Pheonix Wright said, crossing his arms. "Do you not trust your fellow passengers, sir?"

"Fight of the Ishimaru voices!" Maya shouted. "...wait, who's Ishimaru?"

"Of course I do!" Ishimaru sweated. "I just need proof!" "Is that so?" Pheonix responded, raising an eyebrow. "If I recall when reading up on you all, you three-" The man gestured between him, Fujisaki, and Saionji. "Are in the same class. You should know their ages. Also..." He pulled a book out of shit-nowhere, saying something about this being 'evidence.' The fuck.

"While the creators of Outlast are certainly sadists, at least according to the 'Waylon Park' Tumblr tag-" Pheonix was cut off by Maya screeching "THE YAOI!" with a pained and traumatized sob. "-they would not subject a child to these things. Because that's kind of over the top, isn't it? They're not the Corpse Party developers." He continued, gesturing towards the Corpse Party kids. "Hey..!" Naomi frowned. I'm gonna get so many people in the stream chat yelling at me for that joke...

"Excuse me for my lack of knowlege on fourth wall breaking!" While it seemed like sarcasm, Ishimaru was completely serious. Pheonix eyed the younger man with suspicion, but seemed sure of Ishimaru's innocence. It's not a murder trial, Pheonix.

Nico kept a close eye in case things became too intense, but thankfully there were no Ace Attorney-like culprit breakdowns. Phew. He looked at where he was driving the bus, and it looked that the group of many was arriving to their destined spot. It was a cozy little hotel in the mountains owned by April May. No, I don't know why that specific character. Shut up. Don't judge me!

He looked around, driving up to the area and stopping the bus. Most of the passengers stood in their seats, looking around to realize they had arrived. Immediately, Papyrus jumped through the bus's window and ran into the hotel with a shout. Through the fucking window. The door was open. He didn't care.

Nico was about to explain how important it was for everyone to move single file (Mr. Smiley's easily overexerted, Sans is incredibly fragile, Snake's blind, the entire cast of Outlast is kind of {{odd mumbling noises}}, etc.), but that was thrown to the fucking wall when absolutely everybody trampled over eachother. Including the people he was concerned about. Goddammit guys.

"Looks like we're here, everybody!" Nico called, smiling as he saw all of the characters pile out. This could only go horribly wrong.


	2. Making Friends, Making Enemies

\- Chapter 2 - Making Friends, Making Enemies -  
 _Some people don't like skeletons._

"Goody goody evening, hotel people!" Mr. Smiley called, waving at the hotel's owner, a certain female Danganronpa protagonist laying back in her chair with her feet on the table and a manga in her hand. It was titled Will-O The Wisp, and looked interesting by the cover, but its reader probably only picked it because of the big boobs of the green haired girl on the cover covered in blood.

Komaru looked up at the massive amount of people entering and her jaw dropped, not really expecting this amount of people. She didn't sign up for this.

"I'm gonna have a baaaad time." She sighed, putting her manga away in a drawer and leaning back in a way that seemed a bit too cooly for a 13-14 year old.

"yes you are." Sans raised his hand to be noticed in the crowd.  
Is that a spoiler?

"Why are there skeletons here?" Komaru pointed out. It was far from the strangest thing she'd seen, but it was still slightly concerning. "And a, uh... goat?"

"I will not tolerate racism here!" Toriel cut in, scolding Komaru with a stern look at the teenager, who wasn't phased and just went back to her book.  
Frisk was busy making conversation with the Warriors of Hope to pay attention to their mother figure's banter. Well, less conversation and more them signing out things and the Warriors Of Hope trying to decipher what they were trying to say.

While Nico and Bagels were off getting the actual campsite set up, mostly everyone began talking amongst themselves. Not like they hadn't already, but still.

"And what are you supposed to be?" Togami looked up at Papyrus, arms crossed with his usual asshole glance. "And why are you stealing my voice? I don't know what kind of mockery of my image you're supposed to be, but I will have none of it and-"

Togami was cut off by Sans turning his SOUL a deep blue and flinging him out the window with the sound of shattering glass, "good riddance." The chubby skeleton laughed, clapping his brittle and broken hands together.

"SANS, DID YOU JUST KILL THAT HUMAN?!"  
"nah, he'll be fine."

Silence washed over the hotel, the only sound being a distant "I'm okay!" from Togami.

"Aw, I wanted to hold a trial!" Komaeda whined. He was sitting on the cooler, chewing on a practically frozen bagel he refused to share.

"Can we just leave Togami there?" Naegi asked. "I mean, I never really liked that guy."

"Alright guys, I'm back." Nico called, carrying more tents and barbecue grills than what was considered physically possible, while Bagels was only carrying a single box of glowsticks.

"What did I miss?" Nico asked, looking around.

"Sans murdered somebody." Komaeda said with a smile, pointing to the boy in question.

"what? no i didn't." Sans frowned. Well, as close to a frown as he could get. "liar."

"Sans, I told you." Nico sighed, bending to reach Sans' height, speaking to him like a parent would a crying child. "Murder is illegal."

"what the actual fuck, nico."

"I'm not going to have to take you to the 'murder is wrong' weekly seminar with Sachiko and Komaeda, am I?" Nico asked, pulling a business card out of his pocket.

"Don't listen to him, he's bananas." Monokuma whispered into Sans' nonexistent ear, only for Sans to turn the robotic bear's SOUL blue and fling him out the Togami-shaped hole in the window, the bear laughing all the way down.

BALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaa...aaa...lala...balala...daaaaaaaaahahahahaha...ba...bala...  
I really hope you voiced that laughter accurately, Nico.

Nico shook his head and sighed at Sans, flicking his forehead. "Have you learned nothing?"

Sans groaned and crossed his boney arms with an audible rattle.

"Anyway, we should all get set up." Nico looked over the crowd. "It'll take a while, but it'll be worth it in the end. Probably."


	3. No More Hope

\- Chapter 3 - No More Hope -

 _This first part is gonna be a dick to voice, especially since Nico never voiced any of the Preseentable Liberty characters minus Mr. Smiley, and even then he only voiced him during Day 5. Oops!_  
 _Plus it's been a long time since Nico's played PL so I doubt he remembers the voices he gave them anyway._  
 _Just give her the Monomi voice, I guess._

"What do you mean, there are no bagels?!" Komaeda shouted, staring down the elderly baker. It was just Charlotte's luck that she had no clue how to make bagels. Even though it's just bread with a hole in it, but Komaeda liked them 'special'. She asked him what 'special' meant, but he got extremely offended by that.

"I said..." the Presentable Liberty character sighed. "I don't know how to make them the way you like them." The baker was a bit too calm, especially when there was an absolutely bananas marshmallow-haired teenager staring her down. Komaeda shook his head.

"That's BULLSHIT!" Komaeda shouted, slapping the plate of inferior bagels out of Charlotte's hand, causing the pastries (and the plate) to fall into the lake below, the one Togami had fallen into three hours ago. "That's more bullshit than my Ultimate Luck! And that's when you know it's some bullshit!"

"Please calm down, sir." Charlotte's voice began to shake. "I-I'm sorry I can't make bagels the way you like them, but-"

With more strength than Seven and Sakura combined, Komaeda cut Charlotte off with a hard slap to her face, which was enough to stun the poor girl. The baker looked up at Komaeda, blood flowing from her now crooked nose and staining her frilly pink apron. Blood was thicker than Charlotte once thought. It wasn't a soft stream, it was sticky blackness running down her face. Ew.  
This fic is getting unnecessarily dark and I'm loving it.

She weakly raised her chubby arms to defend herself. "Don't you have a heart, young man..?!"

"Heart?" Komaeda laughed his trademark bananas as fuck laugh. "Of course I don't! This is how NicoB portrays me! The only heart I have is for Judgey! And for Hajime! And for /bagels!/" Komaeda grew louder and louder, and he was practically shouting Charlotte down by the end of it.

"Komaeda! What the fuck are you-" Judge began. "Shut up, old man!" Komaeda screeched, clutching his fists and flailing them at the judge. Judge rightfully backed off.

Komaeda turned his hate-filled and bagel-hungry gaze back to Charlotte. "You know me, Charlotte!"

"We're not even in the same game-"

"And if you know me, there's one thing you also know!" He shouted, gripping Charlotte by her pink house shoes.

"W-what is that...?" Charlotte was barely audible, filled with fear of what Komaeda was going to do next. Though she fully knew.

"I'm-!"

"Freakin'-!"

"BANANAS!" Komaeda finished, pushing Charlotte off the cliff by her shoes Yandere Simulator style. The woman didn't have time to react as she fell into the raging rapids below. Goddamnit, Komaeda.

Everyone on top of the cliff just stood in shock of what had happened. Ema had fainted, Maya was just confused, Monaca found this all hilarious (of course she did), and Sans...

"who's the murderer now, dick."

Komaeda was busy laughing like always, gripping Charlotte's house shoes she had fallen from with an insane look in his eye. "That'll...that'll teach her.." he cackled, letting go of the shoes and letting one of them fall into the water to reunite with its owner.

"THAT'LL TEACH HER TO FUCK WITH MY BAGELS!" The insane teenager shouted, falling into laughter once more. Not even noticing Nico walk up behind him and push him off the edge.  
Goodbye you piece of bagel SHIT.

Nobody really knew what to say, until Judge let out a tearful "I'm free." It certainly broke the mood, but what did even more was Nico turning to him and replying "Don't make me push you off too, you nugget."

"Are gonna hold a trial for that...?" Pheonix rubbed the back of his head, and Naegi shrugged. "I guess not... what do you guys say?" The only remaining Lucky Student turned to Hajime, Chiaki, Kirigiri, and Monokuma. Monokuma didn't care, the others were still in shock, and Chiaki...

"Dammit, another Zubat?" Chiaki hissed at her DS game. She hadn't even been paying attention. Great.

"Wh-what do we do now?" Fujisaki whimpered, very visibly crying their eyes out. "Pretend it never happened." Nico replied without skipping a single beat. "But Komaeda was our friend!" they cried.

"Not really..." "Objection!" "I never liked him." "Haha, nah." "Is that the marshmallow dude?" "..." "Nope." "You've got that wrong!" "absolutely not." "NOT REALLY!" A chorus of voices (along with Frisk pressing the ACT button and picking the 'Refuse' option) objected to Fujisaki's statement, and the programmer backed down with a sigh, turning to Naegi. "You dated in high school! You like him, right?"

"...nnnot really, he was kind of fucking bananas." Naegi sheepishly smiled, lightly pushing Fujisaki away. Fujisaki frowned. "Somebody likes him, right? Judge?" They turned to the judge. Judge shook his head with a shrug, prompting a tuckered out sigh from Fujisaki. They stomped back to the Danganronpa tent, zipping it closed.

That hd kind of thrown Nico's plan it 'making. I didn't look at the screen when typing that, I'm sorry. Let's try that again. That had kind of thrown Nico's plan of 'making it look like an accident' off, but in this case murder was kind of justifiable. Because Komaeda was fucking bananas.

{{Old sitcom cast voice}} Oh, Komaeda!


End file.
